Have you seen the movie, The Breakfast Club?  It’s a movie from the 80’s and it’s a classic, in my opinion.  ☺  I was watching it the other day for probably the tenth time and was reminded of how real it was.  No, it is not a true story but it could be.  I remember watching it; thinking that that movie depicted high school students in such an accurate way.  

In case you haven’t seen the movie, the plot is 5 high school students get Saturday detention.  None of them are friends and they all ended up being from different social cliques.  When they all had to spend the day together they most definitely had some conflict.  High school is hard.  We have to learn where we fit in with other people.  I’m sure if you thought about your high school you can picture your lunchroom and picture the different groups of people at each table.  It is very rare for two groups to coincide with one another.  Maybe one group is not cool enough to be friends with another group or whatever the reason may be.  Needless to say, we are all different.  The Breakfast Club did a great job of bringing 5 different people from 5 different social groups together.  Throughout the movie we watch them yell at each other and get into fights.  Most of them were not accepting of each other.  

There is a scene in the movie, which is probably one of my favorite scenes, where they are all sitting in a circle talking.  They were discussing why they were in detention and talking about their families.  They were all being incredibly vulnerable.  They were talking about things that they would never tell anyone, even their closest friends.  I sat there watching their vulnerability and it was really cool to watch.  Five people from completely different walks of life listened to one another and began accepting one another.  If you have seen the movie you know it didn’t go that smoothly but eventually they did accept one another.  

This made me think about individuals in general.  We are all so different.  We are all unique to ourselves and that’s okay.  Sometimes society or our peers do not accept us and it makes us feel extremely sad.  We feel like we have to fit in so we will do what it takes to fit in.  Or we don’t fit in and we get depressed.  But being different is good.  

The 5 students were asked to write a paper on who they thought they were.  In the last few lines of the movie they answer the question.  One of the students decides to write the paper for all of them and this is what he writes:

“Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong.  But we think you’re crazy to make an essay telling you who we think we are.  You see us as you want to see us…In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions.  But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain…and an athlete…and a basket case…a princess…and a criminal…Does that answer your question?                

           Sincerely yours, the Breakfast Club”

They are right, we see people as we want to see them.  We make judgments. We think we know the person before we even take the chance to get to know them.  Who are you?  Are you a brain, athlete, a basket case, a princess or a criminal or something else? Whoever you are, you are you.  No one else is a better you.  Each one of those students had a past and they had their struggles.  You have a past and have struggles.  That is okay.  You are uniquely you.  Have you even been vulnerable with someone and told him or her who you are, like who you really are?  Vulnerability is scary,  but it is important for people to see the real you.  If you don’t show them the real you, they will see what they want to see and not what you want them to see.  Take that risk and show them who you really are.  The counseling room is a great space for vulnerability.  You can practice with us, with a guarantee of no judgment.  Take a chance, let people see the real you!