Finding a Spouse, Pt 1

How can I find a good spouse safely? We hear this question so often in counseling. Marriage counseling is a large part of our practice, so we see the effects of not asking this question, or not answering it well. Singles who have delayed marrying are now very worried that the field of eligible men…

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Marriage and Intimacy

Have you ever been to Santa Monica or San Francisco, CA? I grew up on the west coast and used to love going to the piers built from these great beaches and bays. Piers are built out into the water for people to enjoy a view of the coast-line and an up-close experience of the…

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Vulnerability

Whew…that is a scary word!  Who wants to be vulnerable?  I don’t think many of us would elect ourselves to be vulnerable.  Lets look more into this world of vulnerability. The definition of vulnerable is “Susceptible to physical or emotional attack or harm.  (Of a person) in need of special care, support, or protection because…

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Waiting…

What do you do when you don’t know what to do? This question might be a bit of an odd question to some people.  To others you might be dying for an answer to that question.  Unfortunately I do not have the exact answer to this question.  There have been countless times in my life…

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HOPE – A Four Letter Word

While out on a run recently – tunes blasting in my ear, my aging muscles screaming for me to stop, the heat and humidity of the Chicago summer draining the life from me one drop of sweat at a time – I heard a phrase through the earbuds, as if sent straight from the running…

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Is “Mental Health” an Oxymoron?

Does mental health sometimes seem oxymoronic? Think about it, who doesn’t have mental health days?  Don’t we all have anxious thoughts, depressed feelings, confused direction… like all the time?  The answer, far from moronic, is duh.  Is it possible to achieve a healthy mind?  That would be awfully nice. Are we not people who live…

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How Do You Calm Down When Anxiety Enters Your Life?

We all have our own feelings about anxiety. Anxiety presents itself in everyone’s life differently. How does anxiety present itself in your life? Has your anxiety ever been so high that you just can’t take it anymore? I have found that progressive muscle relaxation (PMR) has helped people calm down when their anxiety has taken…

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When There Is Nothing To Say

Have you ever had a moment when you were at a loss for words?  Maybe your best friend just told you that her mother died.  Maybe you just found out you lost your job.  Maybe your child comes to you pouring their heart out.  Sometimes moments happen in our lives and we just don’t know…

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When The Pain Is Too Great

What do you do when the pain is too much to handle?  When people come into counseling that are hurting, their first question is, “How do I release this pain I am feeling?”  They are looking to me to help them feel better.  Unfortunately I cannot take their pain away, even though I wish I…

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Boundaries, Are You Setting Them?

Quotes are powerful.  Sometimes I will read a quote and I feel as though that quote was written exactly for me.  In this blog post I am going to list a few of my favorite quotes that have something to do with boundaries.  Boundaries are a very hard thing to navigate.  Most of us have…

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